The Power of Apology

by Kathryn Munn

Whether at a personal level or as a leader of an organization, apology is one of the most powerful ways to defuse and move on from a mistake or a negative situation. Apologizing well is a quality of good leadership, effective conflict management and just plain old-fashioned good manners.

Apology was prominent in the news when Steven Truscott was acquitted on August 28, 2007 by the Ontario Court of Appeal. Ontario Attorney-General Michael Bryant said the Crown would not appeal the decision and apologized to Truscott. “The court has found in this case, in light of fresh evidence, a miscarriage of justice has occurred - and for that miscarriage of justice, on behalf of the government, I am sorry.” He went on to say that the government of Ontario “will fully co-operate” in any compensation request.

For governments, apology is linked with compensation. Governments say how sorry they are with money. The compensation amount for Steven Truscott has not yet been publicly announced.

Steven Truscott was convicted of the murder of Lynne Harper, who was found on June 11, 1959, raped and strangled in a woodlot in Huron County. On September 30, 1959 Steven Truscott, age 14, was found guilty and sentenced to hang.

The sentence was later commuted to life imprisonment and Truscott remained in jail until he was released on parole in October, 1969. He lived under the cloud of his murder conviction for 48 years. What is the number of dollars that provides compensation for this?

Another recent (July, 2007) but lower profile example is the mistake made by an Ontario Cabinet staff member who hit “reply” rather

than “forward” on an email from a job seeker who is black and who thus found out that he was referred to as the “ghetto dude”. After the mistake became public, Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty phoned to make a personal apology to the student who had applied for a media analyst position. In the context of the Ontario election looming in October, 2007, the phone call was made after Opposition Leader John Tory, pressed the Premier to apologize because “that kind of language or inference is not acceptable”.

...Most of us find it difficult if not impossible to say ‘I was wrong; I made a terrible mistake.’

Leaders are expected to apologize when mistakes happen under their watch. Trying to blame others or cover up just compounds the original problem. The leader who apologizes shows that she or he takes responsibility and may have the effect of defusing the situation. Without the apology, the organization may suffer lowered morale and the leadership capability of the leader or manager will likely be questioned.

On the other hand, having the boss repeatedly say “I’m sorry” can backfire. Frequent apologies may not sound sincere. To avoid this, an apology may be sufficient from a manager lower in the chain of command for a matter of internal or lower significance. Where a mistake becomes known outside the organization and reflects badly on the organization as in the case of the “ghetto dude” matter, it is appropriate for the person at the top to apologize quickly and without trying to shift the blame.

“The chances of offence-causing incidents happening are growing as Canada’s work force becomes more diverse and people increasingly communicate electronically through e-mails and text messages, where subtleties of meaning and irony are not as obvious as they are in face-toface communication”, said business etiquette adviser, Louise Fox, quoted in the July 25, 2007 issue of the Globe and Mail.

Whether you are apologizing as a leader or in a personal context, one consideration is the legal implications of apology. Especially in jurisdictions without an Apology Act to shield an apology from implying legal liability, this remains a murky area. However prompt and effective apology can decrease the likelihood that an incident will end up in court at all.

Why is apology so hard? Two main reasons that people do not apologize are described in On Apology. We fear the reaction of the person to whom we apologize and secondly, we are embarrassed or ashamed of ourselves. Carol Travis and Elliot Aronson in their 2007 book Mistakes were Made (But Not By Me) offer this explanation: “As fallible human beings, all of us share the impulse to justify ourselves and avoid taking responsibility for any actions that turn out to be harmful, immoral or stupid....Most of us find it difficult if not impossible to say ‘I was wrong; I made a terrible mistake.’ “ Their theory is that cognitive dissonance, the tension experienced when we believe two inconsistent ideas at once, drives us to resolve that absurdity by trying to make sense of the contradiction. We try to justify ourselves even if only in our own minds.